Value…

My thoughts have been stuck on our “me” society of late. I wasn’t raised with that sort of focus and as an adult I try not to think like that. The reality of today’s world is that me centric thinking and behaviour is predominant. My mind goes from that theme into another one of value. I have amazing friends whom I treasure. In my life they are valued. I always separate out family from friends because we are granted family and gifted friends. Family are not chosen so I try to look at them as another group in my life. My family members are interesting, as I’m sure most people’s families are. We have the same genetic background but we express ourselves in many different ways. There is a lot of artistic creativity in my extended family. I value what they bring to the world in which I live and in a different way than what my friends bring.

This pathway of thinking took me down another road recently. Someone mentioned to me how frustrated they get with what they pay in taxes. In their words, they get nothing from it. This is a concept that upsets me as I always paid a lot in taxes myself but didn’t question the value of it. We have a social support system in this country that others do not. Two known actors passed away recently and I read that each of their respective families have go fund me accounts. The first time I read it I was kind of surprised. After all, they were successful actors. Why do their families need even more money? Well, as I continued to read, the cost of being ill and dying in their country is so expensive that even an actor who has made good money finds themself in financial difficulty with a longterm illness. So, when I look at my country and the social nets that are in place, it’s very hard for me to complain about paying taxes that make it possible for us to be taken care of when something goes wrong. Medical coverage is only one example of the social supports that exist in Canada. If I need those supports, I’m grateful to know they’ll be there. That’s why I value the taxes that are collected.

And so, this blog is about value. It’s going to bounce around a bit. My thoughts are fairly scattered on this topic and I’m struggling to settle them. Let me try to unravel them and I ask you, as you read it, to consider examples in your own life.

I was at my mom’s when the garbage, recycling and compost pickup day arrived. I put it all out by the curb for her. Recently I was away on the garbage and recycling pick up in my own village and while the garbage isn’t a big deal (I really don’t generate a lot), since we alternate our recycling, I’ve noticed missing a week has had an impact. I’ll have quite a pile of paper products to put out at our next pickup. There is a huge value in having those items removed from our homes.In my mom’s city, where there is a compost pick up, missing a week can cause significant issues. My mom lives on her own so she gathers her compost items and when the small container is filled, places a bag in her freezer. Imagine a household with children and parents who may not have the room in the freezer. This service is much needed. [Yes, you could tell me about background composting, etc. but not everyone is able to do this.] Do we value the people who work in waste management on a regular basis or is it only when they are late picking up or we miss a day that we notice the impact? In today’s society, it seems to be the latter. It is incredible to me how often I see nasty posts on social media about garbage being missed in a neighbourhood. Yes, it’s annoying. I understand. And it’s a service paid for by our property taxes. And you have a right to complain. However I would ask, do you ever remember to be thankful for the service and the people doing the job?

I was having a hard time appreciating a group in which I was involved. Not because of the people. They are interesting and talented and great to be around. But it’s a group for a specific purpose and very little interaction takes place outside of that purpose. That’s okay. It keeps the time focussed. I was finding that because we were at different places in our journeys it wasn’t working for me. I mean the structure of the group and the timing was not meeting my specific needs. I was waffling about whether I should remain or depart. Completely outside of the group itself I also encountered difficulties as it was at least a one hour drive for me to attend and in winter, not always a comfortable drive. Did I value the group enough? Did I make the decision based on a me-centric vision? When does “me” make sense and when should I be more about others? It was a situation that made me very upset - I lost sleep one night and I tortured myself constantly about how I was feeling. It was a mistake to worry so much about others, in this case. I didn’t reject the people. I acknowledged that the structure wasn’t what I needed. I valued the group quite a bit; it just didn’t work for where I’m at in my journey. Looking at it, I also have to recognize that by struggling with the decision I was aware of the value of the group. I enjoyed the sense of camaraderie around a similar interest. Knowing that I recognized both the value and my own need has made it easier to walk away.

Do you ever think about the person on the other side of the cash register when you’re grocery shopping? It often crosses my mind when I’m standing in line that they have to stand there for hours over the course of their shift and keep smiling even when customers are rude or ignorant. Okay, sometimes they might not be the friendliest person. I would bet most people notice them then. How about the person in front of you in that same lineup? What about when it takes them “too long” to get their groceries in their bags? Do you get irritated at having to wait those few extra seconds? Do we value the people working service-based jobs? Do we value the person, just for being a human, who may take an extra minute to load up their cart after they’ve paid? Sometimes I see amazing examples of compassion and human kindness and at those moments I’m reminded that we are all to be valued as fellow members of the world’s population and in a smaller context of the community. I’m grateful for those times as they remind me to behave with gratitude and not get bogged down in busyness.

Canada is a nation that has winter. A long winter in most parts. The Winter Olympics was on for two weeks and on a Sunday morning, the country was sitting in living rooms, bars, restaurants and clubs as our national men’s hockey team played for the gold medal. Did we watch the medal count for the Olympics and only see value in an athlete if they achieved hardware? Did we think about how hard it is to make an Olympic team? I am most tied to the sport of curling. I really enjoy watching all the other winter Olympic sports every four years but curling is the one I know the most about so I’ll use it in my example here. In Canada, we have multiple curling teams on the world stage. We have national championships every year and the winner goes on to represent at the Worlds. When it comes to the Olympics we have an event, specifically to choose our representatives called The Trials. Our teams are formed based on that four year cycle and often we’ll see teams disperse at the end of that time as they work to create their best possible product. When I watched them on t.v. as they competed in this year’s Olympics, I tried hard to remember what it took for them to be there. The days of sacrifice - hours of practice, families who don’t see their mothers or fathers for days at a time as they travel to compete. The cost of competition is high, beyond the monetary requirement. When they are at an event like the Olympics, they are wearing our flag and representing our whole country. One of the things that I think is awesome about the Olympics is how people who have never watched or played a sport become engaged. Quite often I noticed the commentators explained things that anyone who regularly plays or watches already understands but they were doing it for the Olympic fans who were tuning in simply because of the overall event. I hope we all remember to value the efforts and integrity of our athletes when they carry the weight of a nation on their shoulders. At the end of those two weeks, that’s what matters more than anything, in my mind.

Lately I’ve been disturbed by the lack of respect for seniors. I don’t want to say disrespect because I think of that as an action. The lack of respect that I’ve seen is a void. Is it due to the busyness of life? Is it due to the “me” culture that seems to be our foundation? Do we forget that our elders have lived and grown and learned more than we can imagine? Do we dismiss their knowledge because of technology? Do we judge them unknowledgeable because they may struggle with new technology or just lack the technology? Where do we think the innovation that created it came from? I’ll admit, this is one of the hardest areas for me. We desperately need to value our elders. They have so much historical knowledge and awareness and understanding and when we ignore or dismiss it we end up repeating history. We need to learn from them so that we move positively forward. A few years ago we lost the ability to use the Interac system for payments. I can’t remember exactly but it was pretty short lived. However, a generation that didn’t carry money and didn’t live without that technology at their fingertips was left in the cold. Even my generation, which has lived without, had become so reliant on the technology that we were stuck as well. What I’m trying to suggest is that maybe learning from grandparents and seniors and elders will help us navigate when systems fail. I always remember in math courses at university that we were not allowed to use the technology available to us in exams. We were told to learn the foundations. Skipping that baseline of learning would hurt us in the long run and I know it to be true. I value the elders in my community, my family members and especially, my mother.

The last item I want to talk about in terms of value is going to sound strange after I talked about the “me society”. It’s valuing self. Do you value yourself enough to remember that you are no one’s servant. You are not a doormat. Your opinions, your knowledge, your hard work and efforts all have value. As I’m pushing through my new adventure I can honestly say that this is the part with which I’m struggling. Remembering that what I need to do matters. Yes, I’m retired and yes, technically it means I have more free time. But actually, I don’t have a ton of it because I am making my new life. I’m finding it a challenge because I don’t believe the idea of “me” is how I want my world to operate. After thinking about it for a couple of weeks, I think it’s similar to the safety instructions on a plane. If the masks drop from the overhead cabin area, put yours on before helping others. If you aren’t getting any oxygen you’re not going to be able to help others. So, while I don’t need to make everything about me, I am learning to accept that my life has to fit me. I guess that means that sometimes when I’m asked to do something the answer will be no, if I don’t have the time. That’s a tough one for me and I’ll have to keep working on it.

It’s the first of March and meteorological spring is on its way. There’s still a ton of snow outside my house and I’m dreading “flooding season” but I see glimmers of hope as I recognize it’s the next step before the warmth of growing season. Summer will be here before we know it and the world will be filled with colours and scents. Remember to value each step along the way as one leads to the next.

It might seem silly but I really value the wildlife (bunny and birds) that frequent my yard. They always put a smile on my face!

Step one of my living room transformation is complete.

Prep work for step two is underway!