Retirement Questions

I was all set to publish this blog last Sunday but it occurred to me that my answers might be better after two weeks. Two weeks? I’ve been retired for over two months now! So, let me explain how I look at retirement thus far. The first month, almost two months were caught up in Christmas and New Years. I retired just before all the prep and celebrations of Christmas were underway and while I had more time this year, it still didn’t feel particularly different than previous years. The “extra time” felt like I was on leave and would still be returning to work. Anytime I was asked, during that time, I answered accordingly. Now, we are well into January and 2026. The first question I often get these days is, “How is it being retired?”, followed up by “What do you do all day?”. While rather pedestrian in nature, I hope this blog answers those questions and provides a little context. When I look back at the decades leading up to retirement, I recognize I, too, had those questions of people in retirement, especially those who were newly retired.

I was always fascinated by my parents in retirement. Both of them got really busy and I often joke that I didn’t know how they had time for full-time jobs. Not a very good joke, when I think about it but then I’m not much of a comedian. They filled their retirement days and years with other interests and volunteering opportunities. My mom is still very busy and slow days get under her skin.

My mom and I took a road trip a few years ago, stopping to visit with special friends of hers before landing at her sister’s place. The first stop was really interesting. This friend of my mom is an author and spoke about her current projects, her children, their home (which they had run as a BnB and what challenges that posed) and her husband was a well educated man with lots of interests. The conversation was energetic. Another stop was to visit with former neighbours. She is younger than her husband and vibrant. Always doing something, volunteering, engaged in community and at home cooking and baking from scratch. They now have grandchildren who are obviously well loved. He was an engineer and as a child I would have described him as busy and smart. I asked him about his retirement. What did he do? What were his interests? And you know, I’ve never forgotten his answer because it was nothing. He honestly told me he sat in his chair all day. Meanwhile I know his wife was involved in activities and on the go. I didn’t understand. How can you go from 100 to 0? As an aside, he died a few years later and I’ve often looked back on wasted time. It’s definitely unfair of me to judge someone else’s choices.

However, I share my road trip with you because since it happened, the idea of doing nothing in retirement has bothered me. First of all, I was busy in full-time employment and couldn’t imagine doing nothing. Second, the thought of laziness is actually frightening to me. I often think of the former neighbour who died. A part of me believes he died because he chose to stop living. I’m not afraid of death but I am afraid of a life that has no substance to it.

This blog is process oriented as I’m going to answer the questions about retirement that are most often asked of me. Keep in mind I’ve been retired for less than two and a half months. Of that time only a few days have felt like retirement. Since, as I wrote earlier, I retired just as Christmas season was starting, nothing felt different than before, except that I had more time to bake and clean. I “allowed” myself the first week or so to decompress and then I tried to start a routine. I was very clear with myself leading into retirement. I had a plan and I was going to make it happen. So, I tried. However, I was kept in the loop of my former job for a little longer than anticipated (and with no complaints, I might add) and I was busy with appointments and doing a little extra to support my mom and my new routine was quickly forgotten. All in all, until New Year’s I didn’t really feel retired. It was on Friday, January 2nd when it hit me. I wouldn’t be going back to work on Monday like my friends. That was it. I was done.

I panicked a little, to be honest. The week of New Year’s was a very lazy one for me. The decompression I thought I’d already done was nothing apparently. My body and mind were still exhausted and I did things during the week between Christmas and New Years that I’ve rarely done before. I binge watched shows. I slept in. I read books and drank countless cups of tea. I ate whatever I felt like, not really keeping to any sort of normal eating schedule. On the plus side, I kept my driveway shovelled with the daily dumps of snow, so at least I was getting some fresh air. I didn’t shut down completely. Each night I had my Christmas decorations with lights on and I soaked up the atmosphere. But there was one day I spent in my pyjamas! I put my coat and boots on over top and cleared my car and shovelled the windrow and front steps in my pjs! Basically, I let my body and mind reset. I didn’t write, I didn’t journal, I barely got blogs done.

And then on the Friday I started to panic. What if this is the real me? Lazy. I couldn’t handle that thought so I wrote out (seriously) a schedule that I would start on Monday, January 5th. When my friends were going back to work, so would I.

So to answer the question of how it feels to be retired? Ask me again in a year and we’ll see how much the answer has changed but for now, it feels cautiously good. I feel more in control of my life and my thoughts. I’ve noticed a severe drop in my stress eating which is an excellent sign that I made the right decision. There are ways in which I’ve lived my life for years that have not changed. Instead of a work and personal calendar, I only have my personal calendar now but I keep a calendar on my phone and a physical agenda. I’ve had the agenda for a number of years and used my work calendar for everything. Now, my personal calendar is on my phone and includes my appointments and events. My agenda contains my bill due dates, appointments, my plans (for instance going to my mom’s, a visit with a friend, etc.), and important dates. I like checking it in the morning to see if I need to do something that may have slipped my mind. It suits the way I operate.

There’s a freedom to retirement that is only just hitting me. When I consider travel, I no longer have to worry about what is going on at work or if I can get that time off. I can make my plans based on me. That’s a pretty cool experience. If I look outside and notice an empty bird feeder I don’t have to try to remember to fill it after work, I can wander out whenever I want. If I decide a walk is needed, I don’t have to consider meetings. I can go when I want. Those are the small freedoms that I think a lot of people have in mind when they think about being retired. There are a few others that I’ve discovered. I can choose not to answer the phone or a text if I’m not in the right frame of mind - I answered everything as quickly as possible when working. I can say no a little easier now. Not everything is geared to feeling responsible to an organization and team.

Who I am hasn’t changed. It’s the freedom to be me that is most noticeable. I kind of like it.

As for the question about what I do all day; excellent question and the one I most often asked of new retirees. The routine I wrote up was very specific and for some people would look very regimented. Yes, it’s structured but in a way that allows me freedom to do what I want. On top of what I have concocted as my new schedule I still have all the “old” regulars like cleaning bathrooms, grocery shopping, cooking supper, and so on. But there is new flexibility here, too. I don’t have to only grocery shop on the weekend or after work. I can choose to go midweek and midday if I want!

Below is how I approach my Monday to Friday routine. On the left is the old and on the right, the new.

Awake by 5 a.m. (earlier if driving to the office) Awake by 6 a.m.

Tea, yoghurt, shower, early news Tea, yoghurt, early news, shower

Dressed and online by 7 a.m. at the latest Dress, read, take a short walk

Try to remember breakfast before 9 a.m. 20 minute writing exercise at 8 a.m. followed by breakfast

Sometimes have lunch in front of laptop, working 9 a.m. in my office and blocked to work until noon

Hopefully log off by 4 p.m. Lunch break at noon

Try to fit in a walk and pick up mail by 4:30 p.m. Work on a house job starting at 1 p.m., until I decide I’m done

I’m sure that looks dreadful and when I look at it, I have to agree that it looks a little strange. The reason I’m presenting it like this is to show you what I used to do and what I’ve chosen as my current routine. Relatively similar, don’t you think? I’ve added in some much needed “taking my time” elements. I could be sitting down to write by 7 a.m. I don’t want to. I’ve missed active reading, especially the last few years when I mostly allowed myself time at the end of the day and in bed. I want to make sure I have time to read now. Now here’s the big thing. As structured as this schedule is, there is nothing that requires me to follow it, except for me. The flexibility is incredible.

Yesterday I awoke with a terrible headache. If it was during a work day (pre-retirement) I would have either, found a way to power through (and I did that many times) or I would have to take a sick day and hope that I wasn’t overwhelmed by the backup work the next day. In fact, a sick day rarely meant I wasn’t online or joining critical meetings during the day and trying to relax otherwise. Now, if that headache happened during my “new” work week, I could have simply taken care of me. That is truly the freedom I feel during retirement. It’s not about travelling the world. Not for me. It’s about taking care of myself and doing what I want and need. It’s powerful.

Back to the routine I’ve set up. When I wrote it out at first I was a little shocked at how structured it is but it’s what came out of my head and I decided to give it at try. I’ve had two weeks of it and I’ve learned a few things about myself.

Flexibility is wonderful! This past week, I had two mornings with appointments so I flipped my schedule around. I don’t like it as much in reverse. I’m very much a morning person. But it worked. I wouldn’t want it to be like that consistently so I’ll keep that in mind as I book future appointments.

I like structure. I’m not rigid about it. My world doesn’t crash down if I don’t follow my routine. I don’t panic if things don’t work out exactly as planned. What I’ve discovered is the structure allows me to be creative. Now, that’s a word I don’t often use when describing myself. I don’t think of myself as creative in the way that other family members can be for instance with photography or music or drawing, etc. I’ve realized though, that my writing is creative and I’m pretty good at it but I need to give myself the time and place to produce. That’s what my new routine gives me.

For the last few years I’ve done a fair bit of work on my house and there’s lots more to do. Planning out items that I’d like to knock off my “to do” list and giving myself time to work on them has opened up opportunities that I haven’t had since I moved in. I might set myself a list of deep cleaning, for instance. I might want to scrub all the floors. I know I’ve had pictures to hang for a while and finally they are on the wall! I have closets that need improvement in this century home. I have a living room that has been waiting for me to plan - paint, fireplace surround, furniture choices, etc. I have ceiling tiles I want to install. The list goes on and on. I’ve already started with creating a high area of storage in the cellar, hopefully out of range of any spring flood waters. I’ve scrubbed, sorted and painted the front closet which brightens it up considerably. Most of my to do items are time consuming, not particularly expensive. Now, I have the time to work on them.

Another important lesson has been recognizing that after decades of working long hours, raising my son, living life and doing my masters, my body and mind are still decompressing. I’ve been told that six months seems to be the average length of time for adjustment. Well it’s been almost two and a half. I guess six isn’t as outrageous as I thought when I first heard it.

One final question that I will answer. What am I doing in a three hour work day? I’m writing a novel. My first novel. I have a minimum word count that I want to achieve each day. I’ve only had one day when the minimum was a struggle. Time at my desk is spent researching for the book, planning out the timeline, working on the characters and their timelines, and writing. Sometimes I pound out the words and occasionally I have to fight to get them down. I like it. I expect to start my first revisions by the end of March. If all goes well, that is. I’m passionate about this project and I’m still learning how to do what is necessary to write a novel. Authors aren’t consistent in their approaches and I’m finding the one that fits for me. I’ll start on the revisions and editing once I have a solid first draft. That doesn’t mean I haven’t already made some changes but I’ve decided to have it written before the serious work begins.

I can’t imagine retirement without a plan. Whether it’s a creative pursuit like writing, working on the house, travelling, golfing, spending time with grandchildren or whatever appeals to you, I hope you’ll take the opportunity to dive in and enjoy. It may be decades away or it may be right around the corner. Soak up all you learn before it’s upon you. Pick something that interests you and try it out. If it doesn’t work out, try something else. Don’t sit back and waste  your retirement years. Don’t sit back and waste your work years - there’s so much to learn! Life is about engagement and participation!

The switch from Christmas to winter decor. I love the cozy feel.

Front closet improvements.

The winter sun brings out beautiful flowers.

Snow angel!