I Am Jane Doe

Please note: at the time of this writing, no allegations from Jane Doe about the Cornell 7 or the additional 50 men in the group chat have been proven in a court of law. A special prosecutor has been appointed by the governor of New York since the governor lost faith in the local district attorney’s handling of the information.

This blog has not been thoroughly proofed and is raw, as are my emotions. It might jump around, as do my emotions and thoughts this week.

I started working on a blog a couple of weeks ago. It’s been a challenging subject for me and one that I think is worthwhile. This is not it. I’ve put it aside because of the news that has overtaken social media. The Cornell 7 or 57, if you want. This past week I had a night when I couldn’t sleep and I did the absolutely worst thing to do in a situation like that - I went on my phone. Down the rabbit hole into videos upon videos about the lawsuit filed by Jane Doe against the men she alleges (it has not been proven in court) gang raped her for seven hours in October 2024 at the Chi Phi fraternity house at Cornell University. [If this sounds like a familiar news story, look up the Hockey Canada case in Ontario.]

If that sentence doesn’t horrify you, then something is wrong. Perhaps it’s because this isn’t a new story for you. Perhaps you don’t believe it. Perhaps it’s because the world has become a place where a global leader is found liable by a jury of sexual abuse and is still the president of the United States. Perhaps you are too weary to react in a world that protects predators.

I expect this blog will be short but I feel compelled to write it. I’m afraid if I don’t, I won’t be able to expel what has haunted me all week - the knowledge that fifty men in a group chat knew and did nothing to help Jane Doe. In fact, some showed up in the assault room, some laughed and joked. Not one said stop or called the police. The unbidden images of what the girl went through for hours torment me. I cannot imagine the strength required to survive and recover enough to speak up.

For the explicit details that are currently available, I ask that you research them on your own. I don’t want to repeat anything here. I want to share my thoughts and invite you to allow yourself time to reflect.

I, and every girl I know, was raised to not leave their drink unattended. In fact, this summer, I made sure my thirteen year old niece knows that, even if they are friends, she should never leave a drink uncovered. I told her if you go to the washroom and you can’t take the drink, then you don’t sip out of it upon your return. You have to get a fresh one. When I attend football games, I buy a bottle of Diet Pepsi as my drink of choice. I carry that bottle with me anytime I leave my seat. I have sat surrounded by the same season seat ticket holders for years. We call each other by name. They’re very friendly. It doesn’t mean I’m going to take any chances.

When I was younger I enjoyed mini skirts. I liked how they looked and how I felt when dressed up. My niece loves crop tops. She’s young, she’s very cute and she loves fashion. She can strut when she wants and I love it. It’s been made clear to her (not by me) that crop tops are not “acceptable”.

When I was growing up there was plenty of underage drinking in my hometown. It was a small, rural town with little to do on most weekends. It’s the not the first town to have underage drinking, nor will it be the last. When I was sixteen I got drunk. Plenty of yelling took place when I got home. Who knows what could have happened to me? Would I have been considered at fault if something terrible had happened?

When I was an adult, a girlfriend and I went to the ‘big city’ for a weekend. We went out to a bar to go dancing. Something was slipped into my drink. I still remember the trauma. I could barely function and I am still thankful to the help my friend received in getting me in a taxi and back to the hotel. I don’t remember a lot of what happened. Who knows what could have happened to me? On the news a week later, there was a story about date rape drugs being found in the city’s bars. The side effects were exactly what I had endured. I’m still not sure that anyone believed I wasn’t drunk. (I’d had one drink.)

Every female I know has been taught to be careful. Let someone know where you are, where you’re going, when you expect to be back. I went on a blind date years ago and arranged with friends to have texts sent every half hour or so. We’ve been taught not to leave our drinks where someone can get to them - and I found out that even when we’re cautious it can still happen! When we had cars with actual keys, we would carry them so that the key stuck out between our fingers, available as a defensive weapon, if needed. I have my panic button at my ready nowadays. We don’t get into our cars without checking the backseat (although, I’ll be honest, I don’t always do this). We choose parking that is near lights.

I don’t feel fear or perhaps I should say, I don’t actively worry all the time. Maybe it’s because after decades of knowing how what to do, it’s become second nature. I had a football game on Friday night and when I went to the washroom, I shoved my pop bottle into my sweatshirt pocket without thinking. It’s become my norm. It’s become most women’s norm.

I want you to think about that. It’s our normal way of operating/living in the world.

When I think about the narrative the following comments come to mind. These are responses that relate to this and other similar situations. Read them and then read the IET statement. Maybe that will put things into a different perspective.

IET - means “is equivalent to”

Well, she showed up alone at a frat house. IET The men in the frat house have a right to rape her.

She was drunk. IET She was fair game.

She said yes earlier in the night. IET One yes means yes to anything and everything.

She was drunk. IET Men had the right to use her body any way they wanted.

Look at what she was wearing! IET A woman’s clothing indicates she is available to be raped.

She shouldn’t have been there/gone there/been alone/been out at night. IET She deserved what happened to her. The men are not to blame.

Consent is required. ALWAYS

Let me be clear. No means no. Moving away, hiding mean no. I don’t want to means no. I’m not sure means no. Being unconscious means no. Being in a relationship does NOT imply yes.

Fear and intimidation can make us find ways to survive - silence, turning away can be internal mechanisms to ensure we live through the trauma, they do not mean we have consented.

Drinking alcohol is not an invitation to anything!

There is a difference between force and forced. Forcing someone to do something is removing consent. Forced is being pressured, intimidated or threatened.

It can take a long time to come to terms with what happened to a body, especially in a situation like this. Our minds might hide details as our body tries to heal.

There are so many aspects to this story that are sickening. The university allowing some of the men to write essays as a punishment? Forcing that girl to continue school at the same campus and among the men who raped her because they refused her parents’ request to refund the tuition? Treating her like she was anything but a victim?

I am not sure I would want to live if this happened to me. This is something that will forever be with her. How does a person go on?

I don’t know exactly why this has impacted me the way it has. I’m having a terrible time coming to grips with the ways that authority let Jane Doe down. First and foremost is the impression that she somehow ‘deserved’ it or put herself in a position where it could happen.

Now, for the last part of this story and the reason for my title. An “investigative journalist” wants to out Jane Doe. Why? Those men know who she is and if they don’t, why not? Read some of the comments online from those who support those men and their actions - this is a dangerous undertaking by the so-called journalist. I am Jane Doe is a movement to protect her anonymity. It is more than that, in my opinion. It is in support of a woman who has face horrific trauma and has spoken against it. Who has said, you did this, you allowed this, you protected predators and you ignored an inhuman attack. Women live with this awareness and have done so forever.

I Am Jane Doe.

Inadequate?

The Second Half

christine.mcauliffe@yahoo.ca