Things…
Nowadays all you have to do is look at social media, home articles, magazines, etc. to find guidance to rid yourself of things. Downsize, choose only what you really need to get by, don’t clutter up your living space are constant refrains these days. In fact, you’ll often be told that things clutter more than your space and they contribute to a cluttered mind. I am not one of those people. I don’t want to live in a minimalistic space. I don’t want to get rid of something just because it isn’t essential. I don’t want bareness in my home. However, I have an appreciation for eliminating chaos or debris. I agree with removing items that are of no use. I honestly prefer tidiness. I work better in an organized environment. I feel better when my house is clean and sorted. But that doesn’t mean without things.
The idea of living in a home without accessories, decor, and the beauty that those provide is not me. I’m always a little surprised by the “experts” anyway. What makes a person an expert at decorating a home? I understand the concept of choosing fixtures and colours and finishes and I’m sure the people who do that work have learned what works well together and what clashes. But, when it comes to sharing it outward, I think we spend too much time generalizing. When I was trying to pick colours for the front rooms in my house I could not find what fit my vision. In fact, I think I even read somewhere that the two colours I did choose are not to go together! Pretty funny considering I love them!
When I look around at what I have in my house, yes, I see some clutter. Yes, I see things that I don’t need. And yes, I’m doing something about the extras that I have. I’m giving away a lot and I’m selling some items. But, I do not have any interest in having a bare or minimalist home. Why should I? I’ve created a space that surrounds me with those things that I love. I love the memories that some of the items evoke. I love the story of how I came to own something. I love the look of certain things in my home. Having something that makes me feel good leads to making this house my home. It brings peace and serenity, especially when the rest of my world is governed by stress or chaos.
When we become adults we often refer to big purchases as “toys”. The jet ski, the fishing boat, the RV camper, the kayak, the sports car, the big screen television, they’re all toys. And with the word, toy, is an implication that we’ve earned those things. We’ve worked hard for them, they haven’t come easy, and we want to spend our free time enjoying them. There is some sense of entitlement when considering how we view some of those purchases. Are those toys really something things we need? And yet, that’s part of why we work so hard and save our money, isn’t it? So that we can have the pleasure of their use. I wrote about fun a little while ago and sometimes those things that we accumulate are so that we can quite simply, have fun.
Okay, so what about other things. What good is it to accumulate things that we aren’t going to put to good use? How many things do we need? How many things do we want? And why? My approach to this blog was to consider what constitutes things. We have many things in our lives and a lot of them are what we consider essentials. Beds, dishes, chairs, blankets, toothbrushes, combs, clothes, and on and on. My kitchen is full of things. Some of them are nice to haves like my Instant Pot or my stand mixer and some of them are what I call critical like my dishes and cutlery. As I write this I’m thinking of the many areas of the globe where they live and eat and sleep without the luxuries of what I call essential items. I’m not going to go down that path. It’s not that it isn’t a valid conversation but for me, right now, it’s not the one I want to have. So what other things do I have when I look around my house that I don’t consider essential?
I have tons of books and yes, I could live without them but my life wouldn’t be the same. I love books. I love how they teach me, how they take me away, how they make me think, how they make me dream. I can’t imagine life without being surrounded by my books. These are things that I cannot give away or sell. There is the odd time when a book doesn’t really reach any part of me and that book I might give away. I would never sell a book. I have always dreamed of having a beautiful, big library. I’ll never have a house big enough to have my dream library but my last few houses have all contained an area for reading and being in the land of stories. This house has a room much smaller than my last one but it’s warm and welcoming. During a recent rainy night I sat with the gas stove on and read for an hour. In a world based in busyness there is something incredibly special about taking that quiet time.
As I share regularly, decorating for the different seasons is very important to me. When I start putting away one season’s decor and bringing out the next I find the house becomes bare. Even in the midst of the chaos of changing things around there is an emptiness to the shelves. I know I have friends who prefer that look year-round! Decorations make me feel comfortable. There is something in the presence of those things that speaks to me. There is a warmth in being surrounded by the feelings of the season that are reflected back in my decor that is so important for my own peace.
I’m not exactly a hoarder although there are times I can relate to the idea of “what if”. What if I get rid of that and I need it? What if that is something important to my son and I give it away? What if that is actually valuable and I don’t get anything for it? What if it turns out I do need that piece of string?? Okay, the last one is pretty silly but the others are valid. It doesn’t mean that I hang onto everything - far from it. But it does mean that I’ve kept two bins of memories. Now, my goal is to reduce that to one bin. And I’m almost there. There is little point in keeping things that you never see or use. Except. Sometimes the bins of memories are important just because they are there. I can open them and remember my son’s first year at school. I remember the trips to picture day with the football team when I was growing up. I remember the music that mattered to me throughout the different times in my life. As I’ve been going through the bins the one thing I’ve noticed is that I have not kept a lot of physical items. There are pictures and art books, the odd souvenir, but mostly they are remembrances like newspaper clippings and yearly journals. I’m okay with keeping them, especially if I can get down to a one bin situation. The important pieces, like some of my son’s artwork from school I’ve had framed and hang them in my home.
As I sit at my antique writing desk putting this blog together and look around my sitting room, I realize that a lot of my things are furniture. They are furniture pieces that I’ve spent time and effort to put together. The chairs in this room are recent purchases but took me more than a year to find (after saving up). The newest bookcase is from my buffet and hutch and is repurposed (as I’ve shared before). I have a footstool that is an extra seat if needed and was the dog’s. When I cleaned it after his passing, I realized it’s in great shape and there is no need to get rid of it and it has a good spot. I have two bookcases that don’t really go here but I will keep them until I can replace with something custom made. I still have an old Ikea bookcase that I’ve had for years. There may come a time when I can replace it for something that suits a little better but to be honest, it’s not a problem and holds lots of books. It fits where it is so… that works for me! What I’m saying is, I need the cases to hold my books. I don’t need to spend a ton of money on them and I’m happy with what I have.
I think that’s one of the biggest messages you can find out in social media land. Be happy with what you have instead of always wanting more. I get it. At least I get it at this point in my life. I’m not sure I felt that way early in my adult days. It wasn’t about always wanting things. It was about wanting the ability to pick and choose what I want. It was about building my vision of a home. It was about not always needing to buy used or “cheap”. [And it turns out I often prefer used! I love upcycling when I can!] And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having that as a goal. What’s wrong with wanting to do a little better? What’s wrong with striving to achieve your vision of home? At this point in my life, what I want is comfort and peace. That doesn’t mean I’m done with travel or adventure. Not at all. It means that when I am in my house, I want to feel like I belong. I want to look around and be happy with what I see.
When it’s chilly, I love wrapping a handmade comforter around me while I read or watch tv. Those handmade comforters that I own are filled with love and history. They were made by my grandma or aunts or neighbours. I take care of those things and hope that when I hand them down, they continue to bring comfort and warmth. They are part of the legacy from my family. Same with things like recipes, written in my dad’s or mom’s or grandmas’ handwriting. Those are important things in my life. I treasure being able to carry on the traditions of the past, even if they were just dinner to my grandmother! Making her Yorkshire pudding from scratch has become a tradition for me and one I hope my son, nieces and nephews continue.
Yes, sometimes the things in my life are old. Sometimes it seems like a natural to hold onto those things because they come with memories. But sometimes they are new and they speak to me and give me comfort and peace. Recently I bought myself something brand new. I’m typing on it right now. I finally, after many years, treated myself to a new laptop. I love writing and I hope to be able to use that love when I’m retired. So, yes, I spent money and bought something else to hold in my home. I love it. It’s beautiful to look at and to use. My fingers fly across the keyboard as I’m pushing out the words crowding my head.
I don’t think I need to become minimalistic. I also don’t think anyone who prefers that lifestyle should start amassing items just because of my opinion. I dislike the generalizations that we often encounter when talking house decor. Most important, from my point of view, is having a place that makes you feel safe, comfortable, and at peace. I have that. That’s what my things give to me.
From a rainy night spent reading and before I started “putting away autumn”.
Rather than remove the hooks, I’ve taken the hangings off and they sit awaiting Christmas decor.
This year, in an effort to make life a little easier on myself, I am removing all of autumn one weekend and planning to decorate for Christmas over the next two weeks. In the meantime, the house is really looking bare!
The newest editions to Christmas decorating this year. Some gifts along with a couple of purchased items. They’re sitting on the kitchen counter as I make my decorating plan! My mom changes things up each year and I guess it’s rubbed off on me! Looking forward to sharing the transformation over the next couple of blogs.