A couple of weeks ago I attended a wedding. The bride is the youngest of one of my best friends. She and my son grew up together. There is a place in my heart for the children they were and sometimes it’s easier to remember them as children, instead of thinking of them as adults. Grown and living their own lives. Why? Because it’s a reminder that I am growing older. LOL
I mean, we all are. With each passing day we grow older. It’s how life works. Lately, though, it feels like aging is a ‘bad’ word, associated with bygones and viewed with annoyance. When did the knowledge and wisdom of the ‘older generation’ become non-existent? When did younger generations presume that they ‘own’ the world? Or perhaps the question is, when did younger generations decide that older generations are to blame for all the current problems and don’t know anything in the context of 2026?
Sure, in some ways, everything we experience now is ‘because’ of an earlier generation. Unfortunately, I find the focus is on the negatives. The cost of housing. Difficulty getting jobs. Inflation. Lack of advantages.
What about all the innovation that’s taken place? What about the groundbreaking technology that came from those ‘older generations’? What about the dedication and work involved in making those seeds something real? It started somewhere. It’s moved at an incredible pace and I think, because of that, the younger generation doesn’t recognize or appreciate how everything that came before has lead to today.
My mom’s generation holds a ton of wisdom and knowledge within. Too often I find they are treated as an encumbrance. Their knowledge isn’t worthwhile if they don’t have or understand or want the latest tech gear. I recently read an article about ‘apps’ and how disruptive they are to older people. If everything is done on an app and an eighty year old doesn’t own the proper type of phone they can’t fill out the forms or submit the request or do it without support. If you think about it, that’s crazy.
I went to a concert recently. Of the original three band members, one has died, one is seventy-eight and one is seventy-nine. The ‘new’ member is not quite seventy. I was one of the youngest in the venue. The people beside me were married before I was born! When one of the guys in the band mentioned how most of the audience would remember them from their days playing in bars, I just smiled. I was a baby, if I was even born. But the music. I loved the music. I remember it playing on the AM dial on the radio. I remember summer days in the pool with the radio playing through the window. Yes, their voices weren’t the same. They were excellent on their instruments, giving the feel of those days long ago. Maybe they warbled a little but the crowd loved it. They sang along, moved to the beat (albeit mostly still in their seats as I think jumping up wasn’t as available anymore) and clapped and cheered. The band played for almost two and a half hours. Pretty good for almost eighty years old. And why not? The band obviously loved playing and performing. That energy was infectious.
Why am I sharing that story? Because of the comments I’ve read and heard about aging. Why don’t ‘they’ retire? Why don’t ‘they’ go relax? Why don’t ‘they’, what? Stay at home and do nothing?
I know of someone who refuses to retire. They are seventy-six years old and holding onto their job. They have no interest in moving on or doing something new or taking a break. Why not step aside and open room for someone younger, someone who needs to start their career? I might have agreed with that a few years ago but I find myself wondering if I was wrong. Why should that person have to retire? Why can’t they stick around if they enjoy their job? Why do we presume that, with age, one must leave so that a younger someone can take over?
There was a person who chose to retire at the start of COVID. They wanted to open the space for newer people on the team, in case cuts were coming. The person was honest about it - they could retire with a full pension and didn’t want to keep the spot if it was going to cost someone who didn’t have a pension yet, a job. I was impressed. It was thoughtful and caring - taking care of not only their own situation but someone else’s. Guess what? They were brought back on contract because their expertise and knowledge was needed. [As with most employment stories, there’s lots around this and any offers are confidential and outside of my awareness, as they should be. I share only to demonstrate that we have important information inside us, even as we age.]
I love hearing new and interesting ideas from youth. I love hearing new and interesting ideas from older people. I love hearing about experiences and what was learned, whether from the young or old. I love seeing people use learning to advance and grow. I really love watching people learn from each another. Old from young AND young from old. I’m afraid this desire to learn from our older generations is something that is dwindling. If you are younger, I hope you’ll take this to heart: no one did anything to deliberately make your life harder. Every person before you only wanted to improve this world in which we live. You have the opportunity to learn from their failures and successes - take it!
I’ve seen a lot change over the years. I remember babysitting for a family who lived out of town and were on a party line telephone. Chances are my niece has never heard of that. I’m not sure if she would have a clue how to use a landline, never mind a party line! How about answering the phone without knowing who’s calling? Having a penpal and waiting for a response in the mail, snail mail, not email. Not tracking my sleep cycles, every beat of my heart, my pulse, and on and on. How my parents had to trust me to come home on time, without calling me on my cell or tracking my location. There are so many things, especially in technology, that have changed over the years - a lot of them for the better. A lot of them not.
I hear it a lot - the implication that somehow I’m less than generations that follow me because I’m not as quick on my phone or as comfortable with new technology. That I’m lacking because I care less about the newest gadgetry.
I’m a really smart person but if I listened to the younger generation and their depiction of me and my generation I would wonder how I got through school, never mind getting under graduate and masters degrees. Here’s what I consider the biggest thing about being smart - I have tons still to learn! That’s the missing piece between older and younger that I’ve encountered. The older we get, the more we realize we don’t know. The younger we are, the more we think we already know.
That’s my two cents worth. Aging can be frustrating. Our bodies have aches and pains and our minds forget why we walked into a room. Aging can be amazing, too. If we are willing to let go and open ourselves, aging can be an adventure filled with lots of new! New learning, people, thoughts, ideas! As my birthday approaches, I hope this is a year in which I see the positives of aging and ignore the rest.
What I’m reading this week
I was lucky to meet the author of the book I’m reading this week. She’s a Canadian author from nearby. It’s her second novel and it’s fantastic. The story has twists and turns that I didn’t see coming and I feel that the characters have taken over and are doing as they want. Since I’ve found that in the writing of my own novel, I appreciate the sense of story it brings with it!
Great story based on two very different women and one connecting man.
Aging garden beds - getting them ready for winter. Weeds cleaned up; peonies, hostas and day lilies trimmed.